1.) You’ll bounce right back:
Okay.. this 👏🏼 statement 👏🏼 is👏🏼 not 👏🏼 okay👏🏼 as a women in today’s society you should know that there is some serious pressure to “bounce back”.. to look like you’ve never even been pregnant.. like you didn’t build a human being FROM SCRATCH in your uterus.. this phrase is bull crap. If you are talking to a pregnant woman do not insinuate that she will bounce back, do not reassure her that she will go back to “normal” in just a few weeks after birth. The honest truth is that you never go back to your old self once you enter the realm of motherhood… not physically mentally or emotionally- and instead of dwelling on that we should embrace it – Because it is beautiful, there is no growth like that of a new mother. Out with the old and in with the new mama style ~
Glow mamas, glow! Embrace your new being, let her grow and love her unconditionally- for this is the new you and she is perfect in all of her motherhood glory ✨
2.) Use cocoa butter so you don’t get stretch marks:
For starters, and this is important- coming from a young mother covered in stretch marks, who rolled in all types of oils and butters from day one of pregnancy- walked around lookin like a huge oily ball for 40 weeks straight. stretch marks are inevitable for some of us. Whatever the reason may be, some of us come out at the end covered in stretch marks. So, instead of offering your lovely advice about how you may have prevented yours, keep in mind that for a lot of us it is unpreventable, and it is truly a touchy & sensitive subject of conversation- because most of us have to re-learn to love these marks every single day. So please, for the love of god leave that piece of advice out of your “what to expect” conversation. Because although most of us with stretch marks don’t like them, they are NORMAL !!!
For all of my fellow stretch marked mamas, I hope you see the beauty in your marks every time you look in the mirror- they are nothing to be ashamed of. You do not need to hide them. Do not let society make you feel less beautiful because your skin isn’t unscathed. We are starting a new trend- real, raw, and beautiful .. the magic of motherhood 💖
3.) Sleep when your baby sleeps:
I laugh out loud every time I hear this… just forget about eating, showering, and all the other things that make you feel alive and human!
If I slept when my babies slept, I would’ve never had a shower, a meal, a quiet moment to reflect, a second to sit in the sun.. a minute alone with my husband… a silent cup of coffee, a moment to catch up on my favorite tv show- my point is a lot of the time when your baby is asleep is the only time you have to do things that still make you feel okay! And these things are so important when you are going through this transition. So instead of offering this advice, I just say you will be sleepless and exhausted, but it just lasts a short time. There will be days you feel hopeless because you haven’t slept, but you will get through it I promise- you are a mother, you are strong. Don’t wish the days away no matter how exhausted you are because your baby will never be a newborn again.
If sleeping when your baby sleeps works for you, then you are my hero.. share your secret with me because I can’t figure it out!!
Bask in your tiredness, cry, eat, bathe, camp out in bed, get some fresh air.. do what makes you feel good and pretty and healthy. The sleepless nights are temporary ✨
4.) Don’t run to your newborn baby every time they cry- you will spoil them:
Please- let’s lose the idea of spoiling a baby! You cannot spoil your newborn baby. They are crying because it is the only way they know how to communicate- when you answer their cries you are letting them know that they can trust you and rely on you for everything they need, which is how it should be for a newborn baby. You are their mother, their safety, their home! After all, they did just live inside of you for nine months. So, if you are tending to your newborn babies every cry, I am right there with you! Regardless of what a lot of people say – I will personally be spoiling my children with a lifetime of this type of “spoiling”
But to each their own ✨
5.) Do not bed share:
I will never understand why anyone feels okay with telling you how to parent your child. When I talk to mothers that live in other countries, they often explain that bed sharing is the norm! Bed sharing doesn’t work for everyone, but if you feel it is the best decision for you and your family- then that is okay! That is great! Bed share – and enjoy it, because it will not last forever! Soon your children will grow out of your bed and be comfortable in the privacy of their own bedroom.
6.) Letting your baby CIO is okay:
Just no… in all situations it’s a hard no. A big fat nope. A solid hell no!!!
7.) I did it, and my kids turned out fine:
One of my favorite parts of motherhood is the different forms of mothering! We are all different and so are our children.. what works for my children may not work for yours- that’s one of the beauties of being human, we are all very different. This is just awful advice- could you imagine the extreme guilt you would have if you advised another mom to try something that works for your child but goes terribly wrong for hers..
you can be a supportive friend, a loving & caring friend- you can share your experiences, but I think ultimately as mothers and as friends we should encourage each other to do what we feel is best for our own children.. even if what you would do isn’t necessarily what I would do with my own children. There is no set way to do this, there is no right or wrong- no guide book to follow. My style of mothering may not be the same as yours, but that’s okay.. we don’t have to agree! All we can do for all of our children the same way is to love them completely and unconditionally- and that is the magic of motherhood ✨
And for the love of god- stop sharing your unsolicited advice with mothers who don’t specifically ask.. it’s just not cool man. If it doesn’t affect your child directly it is none of your business ✨